Finally, back to the multi-part “Restoration and Holiness” series! There are reasons I ceased, but they are for exploration in another post.
In my last installment, I had noted that most of my life consisted of “enrichment reading”—books of an educational but non-spiritual nature that I felt expanded my horizons. On Friday, 9 May, I was convicted to relinquish these for a month and ten days, right up until the morning of 19 June. The time that would then be freed up, I was to spend in purest adoration.
Saturday, 10 May, was my first day of Project Walking by Faith. I can’t say that terribly much was different in my life. I read more of the Word, but I’m not sure that my Matthew IV readings absorbed as deeply into my heart as I would have liked. Instead, I was steadfastly focused on a very carnal problem in my life, an earthly want and desire that, while not unrighteous in and of itself, was certainly distracting me from seeking the Lord with all my heart. I prayed about this complication, I attempted to surrender it to God, I looked for some earthly solutions in order to temporarily silence the thoughts, but nothing seemed to do any lasting good.
I went to bed that Saturday evening with the burden still firmly affixed to my back—in fact, it had only become heavier as I dragged it along. But there was a glimmer of hope, too. A few days earlier, the Lord had impressed upon me that He would soon show me His glory in a mighty way and that I would eventually worship with overflowing, inexpressible joy in the place that I had come to know as The Sanctuary. I believed it, as we do all God’s promises, but I could not conceptualize of such a thing on Saturday night as I prepared for rest. We can have faith without trust—faith that what God says is true, holistically and in the long run, without necessarily trusting in the moment. That was my state of mind.
Then, too, I knew I would have to do something on Sunday that I was not looking forward to. Bible Student, whom I now realize is everything I hope to be in forty years, had been encouraging me to contact her so we could discuss the Word. I now see that the enemy was attacking me enough to discourage me from ever contacting Bible Student, but all I saw then was that I dreaded doing so. For one thing, there is a movement in my area that is so outside of Christianity that I can only call it a cult, but many sincere Christians are subscribing to this movement’s teachings—only to discover later that they are corrupt and contrary to Scripture. What if Bible Student was involved in this movement? I couldn’t say I was in the mood to spend an afternoon evaluating someone else’s fruit. Then, too, what if she interrogated me about my spiritual life and found me lacking, somehow? It was all very complicated, and I wasn’t sure I would ever be ready to take that sort of plunge.
That Sunday, though, I knew I could put Bible Student off no longer. I prayed for courage, wisdom, and—yes—discernment, then dialed her lopng-distance.
“You have the New King James?” she said as soon as I had her on the phone. “In Braille, right? Good! Audio is fine, but you’ll want to read for yourself when we’re studying… Now, you’ll need the volume containing Romans—and, let me see, the one with Matthew.”
What? No interrogation? No words designed to make me feel like less of a Christian? No questions as to why I had so obviously put off calling? And you, my beloved reader, are probably wondering what experiences I could possibly have had that would cause me to stamp such accusations on a believer I had never even met. It’s a long story… Suffice it to say that not everyone I’ve ever met has acted in love, and my interactions with them sometimes color my communications with other believers. The Lord is still working on me…
For the rest of that glorious hour, Bible Student expounded the Scriptures, and my thirsty soul drank in every truth-filled word. Together, we examined pairs of concepts in Romans 1 and how they built upon, clarified, or contrasted with one another. We discussed Jesus’ prayers in the Garden of Gethsemane and talked about His cry to the Father, “If it be Thy will, let this cup pass from me”, followed by surrender—”nevertheless, not my will, but Thy will, be done”. Bible Student suggested this as a model for our own moments of surrender to the Lord.
And then, there was the whole concept of worshiping the Almighty, the one true God, of the Scriptures, rather than idolizing something of our own creation. We believers do this, too, you know. We probably don’t have statues in our houses, but we do lie to ourselves about who we are serving. (Note a deliberate lack of pronoun capitalization in the previous sentence.) We tell ourselves that God does not care if we sin, that this is why grace exists and abounds to us, that we may do as we please without consequence. Grace does abound to us, more than we could ever know or conceive, but liberty is not to be abused and God is still grieved when we sin. Others among us say that grace is not enough, that we must work and strive and beat ourselves about the head if we want forgiveness from God. I tend to fall into this camp more often that I would like to admit. But what does the Word say? Does it say that a perfect home and body, perfect relations, a perfectly-stewarded and well-balanced bank account, and the outward appearance of a flawless spiritual life are necessary to earn His love, favor, and grace? Certainly not! There are other lies we tell ourselves—perhaps God loves everyone but us, perhaps He does not hear our prayers, perhaps we are not forgiven, perhaps we are separated from Him… All these possibilities! But each and every one of them involves taking one or two passages of Scripture and twisting them without proper context, or conceptualizing who we believe God to be and acting upon it, or both. This is inventing something to serve from our own imagination, a mental image of God rather than the God of Scripture.
My beloved readers, have you any idea how wonderful it is to have your theology realigned, especially when it is done with an extraordinary measure of grace? To be told the truth, to accept that truth, to repent of all the lies you’ve believed about God and to determine in your heart that you will worship Him for Who He is—all of this is far, far better than momentary joy or happiness. Te be realigned in your heart, from the Scriptures, far surpasses in beauty the most wonderful experience, because the Holy Bible is our glorious bedrock.
And that’s what the rest of the day entailed—repentance, adoration, worship, singing and making melody in my heart to the Lord. The joy and glory I had been promised a few days earlier was mine on that glorious Sunday, and nothing was ever again capable of taking it away.
Next in the series: what the Lord did between 11 May and 21 May—all the fruit He began to develop on a tree that felt it had been withered. Gnarled and unfruitful no more!
Addendum: The name of the song off of which I based this post is technically “This Is the Time”. However, the most compelling line in that nine-ana-a-half-minute anthem is, “We worship You in spirit and in truth”. How marvelous to be brought back to that place! The song, if you’re interested, is by Terry MacAlmon.